i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
