what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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