capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything about him screamed your future.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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