During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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