woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
