why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
