She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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