I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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