yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
