I bet he comes in French.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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