Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
