Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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