dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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