Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
