I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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