btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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