He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
