You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
