scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
