Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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