you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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