You just made me feel so damn special
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize