I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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