Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I pour the whiskey from now on
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
