I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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