so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
