your room smells of hookers.
And success
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
