11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
This is not my ceiling
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
