I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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