How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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