I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way