let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
