I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
