Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Pants 0. Shit 1.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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