She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
