i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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