you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
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Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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