just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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