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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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