weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I party with great urgency now.
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