The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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