Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
