Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize