after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
