I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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