So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
