apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
that's an acceptable place to lick
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
