There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
