What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
