WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
