I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
operation have a gay friend backfired
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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