he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
