dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
