i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize