Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
