We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
